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Writer's pictureandrewotis

Officer Shortstack



There's a particular cop on the Scottsdale police force that I got to know over the last couple of years. His name is Officer Dyer. I was told by other officers on the force that he is jokingly referred to as "Shortstack" (he's pretty short). After learning of his nickname and using it the next time I encountered him, I found out he was NOT a fan of it.

The first time I met him, I was arguing with a girl I was with after just getting off the bus going south on Hayden at Indian Bend. We were going to go to Albertsons, but he pulled up and thought we were physically fighting and wanted to make sure all was well. I consented to a backpack search having completely forgotten that I had some marijuana wax in there, and also having forgotten that I had some lady's social security card and driver's license that I had (honestly) just found and planned on returning. Shortstack was going through and wasn't really worried about the weed, but as soon as he thought I was commiting identity theft he looked up and said "you're under arrest". After we went downtown and he found that my story checked out, he wanted to at least charge me with something, so the marijuana charge happened.


I saw him off and on a handful of times after that leading up to an epic final encounter. I had done a "rideout", which is like a "walkout" only there's a bicycle involved, with a loaded cart from that very same Albertsons and it turns out Shortstack was there on patrol in the same strip. He saw me and recognized me while I was speeding away ghost riding a shopping cart full of unpaid groceries.


There is a big office complex behind that Albertsons with a walkway between 2 rows of buildings. As soon as I saw Dyer, I let go of the cart and rode as fast as I could up onto the walkway of the office complex. I knew he was not able to drive his vehicle up there and was trying to dip on him. I rode all the way to the opposite end of the complex and saw him driving around having predicted my move. I doubled back and found a little cement wall surrounding an industrial AC unit, and threw my bike back there on it's side and jumped back. I hid there for about an hour, heart pounding, and finally came out. The coast was clear so I ran back to my camp site and changed clothes and appearance as fast as I could. It was a good thing because as soon as I popped out of my "tree house" I saw a police SUV patrolling the canal looking for me. That canal is SRP property and the cops never go back there unless they are looking for someone. I "got away" for that day but later ended up getting 2 felonies from that event. He knew exactly who I was. I got a class 4 for repetitive crime and another class 4 for using an "artifice" (bicycle) to facilitate shoplifting.


As much as I wanna say I hated officer Shortstack, in all reality he's not a bad guy, and was just doing his job. I'll never forget one particular time he asked me "so Andrew what are we gonna do to fix your shoplifting issue?" ....If there is any freak chance that he might end up reading this one day...I finally have an answer.....it's "stop getting high".


Today I am grateful for officer Shortstack. I'm grateful that he chased me that day, that I got away to have a story to tell, but later got caught for it. I'm grateful that I don't shoplift anymore and that I have legit money to buy all the groceries I want.

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