Scars

I have a permanent scar on my left hand. It's an indent and discoloration of the skin. This was from smoking meth out of a broken pipe and having it leak out and burn me. Liquid meth, especially when smoked over and over again without letting it recrystallize and "cool off", can get scalding hot. It hurt really bad when it happened, but I was more worried about the meth that spilled. I actually waited until it hardened up and "scraped it" off my hand to re-smoke. I also have a scar on the inside of my right ankle from when I used to smoke crack. I took such a big hit one time that I instantly got overly paranoid and thought the cops were at my door, so I put the BURNING hot crack pipe inside my sock, and it burned through very similar to this meth burn. Cocaine is very different from meth in many ways, but one of them is that it causes a very extreme, yet short lived anesthetic effect. This time, I didn't really realize the damage I was doing until I smelled my skin burning.

"We will not forget the past, nor wish to shut the door on it."

I'm grateful that I have these permanent reminders of what a self-centered and insane monster I become when I use drugs. I'm grateful that I can look at my hand and be reminded of why I do what I have to do to stay clean and sober. I'm grateful that I'm granted freedom every day to make a choice against active addiction or recovery.