Meth induced psychosis is a horrible, horrible thing that I've had the unfortunate opportunity to experience many times. Combine sleep deprivation with extreme nutrient deficiency, malnutrition, high levels of norepinepherine, and the actual toxicity of high levels of the drug in your brain, and you have a recipe for disaster. There were times when I legitimately thought I was on a TV show like the Truman show and truly believed everyone in the world was watching me and getting some level of entertainment out of my life. There were times, in this state, where I would be completely by myself and do something like *almost* drop a soda I was carrying and look around where I thought cameras may have been positioned and make silly comments to the non-existent audience like "There you have it folks, hes still got a little bit of agility left in him...". I would have times where I would fully believe my "viewers" would expect me to act a certain way, and would act the opposite just to try and surprise them or get their goat. This behavior was absolutely insane. There were a few months when I stayed by myself off of the canal at 64th St and Thomas in south Scottsdale acting like this for days on end, walking up and down the bike paths on the canal. Walking around talking to myself like a crazy man.
Today I am grateful to have at least enough sense to know what is real and what isn't. I'm grateful that I have at least a small handful of brain cells left that I didn't fry in this state. I'm grateful to be above ground and still breathing.
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